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with no future, no prospects and a father who d thank his lucky stars if I fell off a bridge. I couldn t be
pregnant in that house. He would have killed it. Killed me. Probably have gotten around to killing you. I
did what I had to do. If that makes me a coward in your eyes, so be it.
He didn t want to believe her, but pain was filling his eyes and drawing his mouth into a flat white
line.
 I told you you deserved better than me, Lucas. Now you know why.
He turned away from her, crossing to the door again, taking the knob in his hand and all but crushing
it in his hold. It opened and shut twice before he looked at her again, the agony there something she knew
would sear her  til the day she died. A day she knew if there was any justice in the world would be very
far from now.
 For the record, Belinda Lynn  his voice gritted so roughly her own throat felt raw,   I wouldn t
have thought you a coward for what you did. It might hurt, but I could understand it. The only thing that
makes you a coward is the way you re using what you did to push me away. He looked her up and down
with so much pity she felt it like a scourge.  By the way, you just lost the game. Then he opened the door
and walked out of her home. She looked down at the cigarette, realizing what he meant. She laid it on the
sugar bowl and let it burn to ash. She never got around to crying.
You had to have a soul to cry& and hers had just disappeared.
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Chapter Ten
 She doesn t deserve it, Kyle had groused when Lucas explained why he was out of bed. He d been
explaining a lot to Kyle the last six weeks. None of it was anything Kyle didn t know, though. The secret
things, the most painful things, Lucas kept to himself.
 Yes, she does. It took an hour just to get dressed, which was why Kyle had such an easy time of
arguing. But it didn t stop Lucas. Nothing would stop him. He d wheezed his way down the stairs of his
building to the cab waiting below.
 She s not going to be grateful, Kyle had tried one last time, holding open the cab door, a look of
resignation finally on his face.
Lucas had sat, coughed into his kerchief and nodded.  I know. And he did know, even as he now
stood in front of a familiar green door, dizzy and exhausted. But he still reached out and pressed the
doorbell.
The door opened like a force, revealing an aged version of an old nightmare. Adam Riggs looked
down his nose, his hawkish eyes suspicious at once.  What do you want?
No danger of being forgotten here.  Is your wife home?
 She s busy. Adam had to raise his voice over Lucas s coughing. His thin slash of a mouth curled in
disgust.  What s wrong with you? You look sick.
 Pneumonia. What s your excuse? Lucas asked, too tired to be as polite as he d planned.
 Listen to me, you snot-nosed little punk 
 Who s at the door?
Adam stopped talking at the sound of his wife s voice. He gave Lucas another angry once-over before
pushing open the door and walking back into the house.  Ella s brat.
Despite himself, Lucas smiled at the description. Wider when Amanda came out of the hallway while
he entered, already asking,  Lucas?
He d earned that title when he began defending Belinda. When they were small, it was in simple
ways. Taking her hand and running with her into the trees behind his house. Later it was in small pranks,
like pulling Adam s tools out of reach when he was working on his rig. Then in supplying Belinda with
things that would make her father furious, such as a way home from after-school events he didn t want to
pay for or deal with, art supplies, even borrowing his father s tools so she could tinker with machines in his
garage. Kyle had often played interference, as did his parents, but Adam always knew who to blame. Ella s
Dee Tenorio
brat.
 My lord, what s wrong with you?
 Just a little sick. A lot sick, according to the doctor Kyle dragged him to. His condo had one main
feature worthy of complaint everyone used the same stairs. Which was why everyone always managed to
get sick together. Normally, Lucas could shrug off a cold or even a flu. But he hadn t been interested in
running. Or eating. Or even working, which was what had Kyle rushing him to a physician. A copay and
twenty minutes later, the man told him what he already knew he was sick. Sleep came and went, but
when it refused to come, there was always a puzzle to be dealt with. Anything was better than thinking
about Belinda. But no matter what he did, he couldn t seem to stop.
He wasn t angry, which surprised him.
He simply felt empty.
 You look like death.
Or dead. Hard to say which was more apt.  I m fine.
 You should be in bed, Amanda continued. Worry stained the shadows in her blue eyes. She d aged
well, all things considered. Belinda looked a lot like her, but for those eyes. They had the same pale, sleek
hair. But where Belle was all hard edges and sinewy muscle, her mother was plump and short. She helped
him to the couch, where he sat and coughed for several minutes while she bustled off to make tea for him.
Adam sat in his recliner, ignoring him for the TV. Some things would just never change. Lucas dozed
for a few minutes while Amanda was gone, waking abruptly when someone kicked the side of the couch.
He stared up through bleary eyes at the older man. He d once been powerful, but too many years driving
and drinking had added plenty of padding to his middle and his jowls.
 Don t come in my house and sleep on my couch, you lazy 
 Adam, leave that boy alone. Can t you see he s sick? Amanda called from somewhere far away.
 Then he should go home.
 Can t go home. Lucas rolled his head back and listened to the bones crack.  I need to talk to you
about Belle.
 Who?
 Belinda. God, his focus was really gone.
Adam shook his head, harrumphed and went back to his chair.  She dead?
 Adam! Amanda brought out a tea service on a tray and set it on the table.  Ignore him, honey. Here,
this should help. There s some lemon. We don t keep brandy anymore. She pushed a mug into Lucas s
hands.
 Something s got him out here when he shouldn t be, don t it? Girl s either dead or dying, right?
 She s going to be at a function tonight. A commission. This damn coughing was making him crazy.
 You should be there, he finally managed. Rather than try to explain, he brought out the announcement
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All or Nothing
he d grabbed as a memoir from the gala at the park. Now he handed it to Amanda, who sat next to him.
 Her design might be chosen for Balboa Park.
Her eyes widened, and she stared at the glossy pamphlet while he made himself sip the tea.  She s
doing this with those toys she makes?
Lucas shook his head. Didn t they know anything?  Her fountains.
 Like the one she made in the backyard?
Probably not, but he nodded anyway.
 She getting any money? Adam asked, at last showing some interest.
 Not yet. But it ll jumpstart her career.
His interest disappeared.
Lucas didn t care. He wasn t there for Adam.  Would you like to come? he asked Amanda.
He knew her answer the moment she looked away from him to the lump of idiot in the recliner. Adam
met her gaze and shook his head. Amanda s frown was sad, but it wasn t rebellious. Not a spark of fight.
Had it been beaten out of her or did she just not care enough? Lucas couldn t decide which would be worse.
 I m sorry, honey, but I don t think I can tonight.
 This is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of event. He d gone there to try. His conscience wouldn t let him [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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