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Beloved Osho, You are everything that I have ever wanted or could ever want. So
why is there so much resistance in me towards you?
That's why! If you have deep love for me, there will be deep resistance also. They
balance each other. Wherever love is, there is resistance too. Wherever you are
tremendously attracted, you would like to escape also that place, from that space,
because to be immensely attracted means you will fall into the abyss, you will no
longer be yourself.
Love is dangerous. Love is a death. It is more deathly than death itself - because
you survive after death, but after love you don't survive. Yes, somebody else is
born, but you are gone. Hence the fear.
Those who are not in love with me, they can come very close and there will be no
fear. Those who love me, they will be afraid of taking each step; reluctantly they
will take those steps, very hard it is going to be for them, because the closer they
come to me the less will be their ego. That's what I mean by death. The moment
they have come really close to me, they are not - just as I am not. Coming closer to
me is coming closer to a state of nothingness. So even in ordinary love there is
resistance... this love is extraordinary; this love is unique.
The question is from Anand Anupam. I have been watching her, she is resisting.
The question is not just intellectual, it is existential. She has been fighting hard... but
she cannot win. She is blessed because she cannot win. Her defeat is certain, it is
absolutely certain. I have seen that love in her eyes; that love is so strong that it will
destroy all resistance, that it will win over all efforts of the ego to survive.
When love is strong the ego can try, but it is already a losing battle for the ego.
That's why so many people live without love. They talk about love, but they live
without love. They fantasize about love, but they never actualize love, because to
actualize love means you will have to destroy yourself utterly.
When you come to a master, it is either utter destruction or nothing. Either you
have to dissolve into me and you have to allow me to dissolve into you, or you can
be here but nothing will happen. If the ego remains, then there is a China Wall
between me and you. And a China Wall can be broken easily, but the ego is a more
subtle energy.
But once love has arisen, then the ego is impotent - and I have seen this love in
Anupam's eyes. It is there. It is going to be a great struggle, but good! because those
who come very easily don't come. Those who take a long time, those who fight
inch by inch, only they come.
But nothing to be worried about.... The journey is going to be a long journey;
Anupam will take time, maybe years, but nothing to be worried! She is on the right
track. And she has crossed the point from where she could have gone back; she has
crossed the point of no-return. So it is only a question of time. She is available to
me. I never force anybody, because there is no need. And it is good to give them
time and enough rope, so they come on their own. When surrender is out of
freedom, it has a beauty.
But you can trust it is coming, it is on the way. In the deepest core of your being it
has already happened; now it is just a question of time, so that the deepest core
informs your superficial mind. In your heart you have already come to me; only in
the mind there is struggle. At the center you have already come closer to me; only
on the periphery there is fighting going on. The headquarters have really already
surrendered.
You must have heard about a Japanese soldier who was still fighting... the second
world war was over, so many years had passed, and twenty years after the second
world war he was still fighting - he had not heard that Japan had surrendered. He
was somewhere in the deepest forests of Indonesia, and still thinking that he
belonged to the emperor of Japan and the fight was on. He must have been mad; he
was hiding and escaping and killing people, alone!
When just a few years ago he went back to Japan, he was given a hero's reception.
He is a hero in a way. He was unaware...but he must be a man of great will. He
had heard from others - not that he had not heard; how can you avoid for twenty
years? - that Japan had surrendered, the war had finished. But he insisted: "Unless I
receive an order from my commander, I will not surrender." Now the commander
was dead, so there was no way to receive an order from the commander, and he
was going to fight his whole life. It was very difficult to catch hold of him, he was
very dangerous - but he was caught.
Exactly that is the case with Anupam. The headquarters have already surrendered,
the commander is dead! Just on the periphery, somewhere in the forests of
Indonesia you are fighting, Anupam. But sooner or later, howsoever mad you are,
you will receive the news.
The second question:
Beloved Osho, I would like to become true, but what is it and how is it? I feel in a
devil-circle, in a prison. I would like to come out, but how?
The first thing: you are not in a prison. Nobody is, nobody ever has been. The
prison is make-believe. You are unconscious, certainly, but you are not in a prison.
The prison is a dream, a nightmare, that you have managed to see in your sleep. So
the basic question is not how to come out of the prison, the basic question is how to
come out of the sleep. And there is a great difference in how you articulate the
question. If you start thinking, "How to come out of the prison?" then you will start
fighting with the prison, which is not; then you will be moving in a wrong direction.
That's what many people have been doing down the centuries. They think they are
in a prison, so they fight with the prison: they fight with the guards, they fight with
the jailer, they fight with the system. They fight with the walls! They go on filing
the bars of the windows; they want to escape from the prison, they try to unlock
the prison, but it cannot be done - because the prison exists not. The jailer and the
guard and the bars and the locks are all imagination.
You are in a deep sleep and you are seeing a nightmare. The basic question is how
to come out of sleep.
I have heard....
No durance vile could be more pathetic than that suffered by the drunk who was
found wandering agonizedly around and around on the sidewalk outside the fence
which encloses a public park, beating upon the bars and screaming: "Let me out!"
That is your situation. You are not locked up, you are not imprisoned; you are
simply drunk. You think that you are imprisoned. This is just a thought. And I
know why that thought arises in your mind: because you feel yourself so limited
from everywhere, out of the limitation the idea of prison arises. Wherever you
move there is a limitation, you can go only so far and then you cannot go any
further; then there must be a wall which is hindering you. So you infer that there is
a wall all around...maybe not visible, maybe it is a glass wall made of very
transparent glass: you can see through it, but whenever you move in any direction
again and again you stumble and you cannot go beyond a certain point.
This gives you the idea of a prison, that you are imprisoned. But this limitation is [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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