Jen Prill Fires of the Night

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window sills were once again secure, the floor boards had been replaced, and new
carpeting had been installed.
Sunday afternoon Laurel watched the Gay and Lesbian Seniors Without Partners
group pour into the building, adding life and laughter to the empty halls, but to
Laurel's ears the sound was hollow. Laurel answered, as best she could, her
returning staff member s questions about how Lilly was doing, and Monday night
Laurel held a staff meeting. She addressed the issue of how the fire started, the
buildings safety features that saved the structure and many lives, Lilly s prognosis,
but she avoided mention of Claudia or their canceled honeymoon.
Tuesday, at eight in the evening, Laurel made her usual call to the Third Floor ICU.
"Is Nurse Crestwell available tonight?" Laurel inquired of the voice at the other end
of the wire.
"Nurse Crestwell has been out sick since yesterday afternoon. May I help you?" the
hurried voice responded.
"Yes. I'm calling to find out how Lilly Montgomery is doing."
"Miss Montgomery is no longer a patient here."
A stunned silence followed. "Is she...? She's not...," Laurel couldn't make her mouth
form the words.
"No, no. She was moved to a Burn Center somewhere in the South," the woman said,
seeming to understand Laurel's panic.
"Where?" Laurel pleaded.
"I'm sorry. We do not give out that information without positive ID." The voice
returned to its perfunctory tone.
Laurel hung up the phone. She fixed herself a bowl of soup, sat in front of it for a few
minutes, and then poured it down the sink. She looked at the time. It was nine
o'clock. She watched television for about an hour and finally went up to her
bedroom.
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She opened her closet door, moved Claudia's dressing gown aside and grabbed her
flannel nightshirt from the hook. She undressed, leaving a pile of clothes in a heap
on the chair. She threw on the nightshirt, went into the bathroom, and leaned
against the white porcelain sink. It was cold. She looked at her face in the mirror. It
too was cold. She quickly opened the medicine closet, and between Claudia's
toothbrush and toothpaste, she picked out the bottle of aspirin and slammed the
door shut.
She took the pills, brushed her teeth haphazardly, and went to bed. As she leaned
over to turn off the light on her bedside table, a package caught her eye. It was
shoved under her bureau, and as she remembered what it was, tears brimmed her
eyes. She brought it over to the bed and ripped open the brown paper covering. Her
tears spilled onto the contents.
She lifted the small stuffed fish out of the box and cradled it in her arms. Tears
streamed down her face. It was the first time since the night of the fire that she had
really cried. It was the first time since seeing Claudia's face disappear behind the
ambulance door that she had felt any emotion at all.
She flung the fish against the wall. It chipped the paint and then crashed to the
floor, breaking the dorsal fin off. Feelings gushed inside her, feelings that
contradicted one another, feelings that were agony, feelings that caused her guilt.
Her compassion for Claudia was monumental, but if Claudia were close enough to
smack across the face, Laurel knew she would. Why was Claudia doing this? Why
was she shutting her out? Didn't Claudia know she would be frantic about Lilly?
Didn't Laurel s love for the girl count for anything?
***
"You look terrible," Anthony said to his boss the next morning.
"Thank you," Laurel grunted as she passed by her secretary's desk.
Anthony stood up and followed Laurel into her office. "I guess you haven't heard
from Claudia yet?"
Laurel shook her head. "She's taken Lilly south to a Burn Center." Laurel took off
her coat and hooked it over the coat tree.
"How about some coffee?" Anthony offered.
"That would be great," Laurel said, her voice thin. "But don't be too nice to me or I
might melt into a puddle of tears again. For five days I couldn't cry and now I can't
seem to stop." She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
"Why don't you go sit down on the window seat and I'll bring us both something hot."
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Laurel nodded and did as she was told. When Anthony returned, he put two mugs on
the window sill and sat down next to Laurel. "Why do you think Claudia hasn't
called?" [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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