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the short end of the stick and has to rush Normandy on his first combat
mission, or has to guard the embassy during the Tet offensive, or has to raid
the Seppy farms on the first day of the Desert Campaigns, or, in
Fireman's Apprentice James King's case, work in the bowels of the shit flow
pipes for the flagship of the
United States Navy during the mass Exodus of the entire Separatist population
in the system.
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"That's right, Jimmy, this is just a bunch of shit. Seppy motherfuckers!" Hull
Tech Buckley shouted at the top of his lungs and banged his fist against the
bulkhead. They only needed a small flow loop. Just enough to give them a few
seconds of the main gun! One little flow loop of coolant. Hell, they didn't
even need anything exotic for just a few seconds. Just one little goddamned
flow loop that wasn't already overheated.
Jimmy's right, Mija. This is a sock full of shit!
Buckley thought to his AIC.
It was nice knowing ya.
You too, Joe. Somebody has to take the shit and I guess there's nobody better
trained for it than us, Mija replied, almost lightheartedly.
Sorry, Joe.
Shit . . . shit . . .
Joe shook his head and then a thought struck him, almost.
Joe? Are you all right?
Shit . . .
Hull Technician Petty Officer Third Class Joe Buckley was in the makings of a
moment of genius. Not Nobel Prize winning genius but perhaps ass-saving
genius.
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Hull Technician Joe Buckley?
His AIC grew worried. She had never seen Buckley react this way.
"Shit!" Joe screamed at the top of his lungs again. "Shit, shit, shit and more
shit! That's what we have plenty of down here in the shit hole! Shit!" Buckley
paused for just a second and smiled like a madman on a mission and hell-bent
for something.
"Uh, HT? You okay?" Jimmy asked.
"Fireman's Apprentice, grab that BFW on the console over there and get over
here! I want you to beat the flying fuck out of this empty flow pipe at this
juncture." Joe pointed Jimmy to the big fucking wrench and a joint where the
DEG liquid metal coolant could be routed to flow through.
Mija, lock off this part of the pipe and flush it, then turn off the SIF on
this joint for a moment, he thought to his AIC.
Pipe is empty and SIF is off, HT3 Buckley, Mija responded. There was a faint
swooshing sound through the pipe for a split second.
Great.
"Jimmy, start banging!" Joe pointed at the juncture on the pipe.
"If you say so, HT3." Jimmy grabbed the BFW and started pounding away at the
flow conduit juncture.
Clang, clang, clang. Clang, clang, clang.
"Mija, I'm going voice so Jimmy can hear this too. Turn the SIF back on in
that pipe." Joe brought up the heat pipe flows in his virtual DTM and
highlighted the flow loop on the two forward DEG batteries.
"We've got two sewer plants and one water reservoir on this ship. Mija, how
much of that would it take once flushed into the system to cool off and allow
us to fire the forward DEGs for a few seconds?"
"Quick and dirty calculations show all of the water and one full sewer plant,"
Mija announced over the deck intercom speakers. "We would need the water in
there to keep the sludge from solidifying."
"Okay. I figured we'd need the water. We have to purge the hot liquid metal
out of the pipes now! There is no place to do that quickly but here," Joe said
as he pointed to the pipe that Jimmy had been beating with the big fucking
wrench.
"Joe, that will kill us," Fireman's Apprentice King said in a panic.
"Like we weren't dead already . . . but maybe not if I'm in the shithole," Joe
said. "Jimmy, get the hell out of here now, that is an order."
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"Joe, we can't fit in there. The biggest openings are only thirty centimeter
pipes into the topside of it.
And the topside is four stories up," Mija corrected him.
"I know that, Mija Kitty. Once Jimmy is out you will close off this room
including all electronic hatches and exhaust ports. This is gonna be some
shit." Hull Technician Joe Buckley took the big fucking wrench from King and
stood in front of the main pressure-drain valve on the bottom of the sewage
bladder and started banging the living shit out of it. "Jimmy, I thought I
told you to get the fuck out of here."
"Sorry, HT. Guess I'm just hardheaded." Jimmy picked up a second BFW. "You're
gonna need some help to bust that one. It's too big."
"Suit yourself. But once it goes you get as high as you can on the aft wall.
Mija, the instant this deck is filling with shit you purge the heat pipes for
the forward DEGs into this room and then flow the water and the shit through
the DEG coolant pipes. Got it?"
Joe raised the giant pipe wrench and brought it down against the valve stem at
the boot of sewage tank.
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Clang.
Then Jimmy hit it with his giant crescent wrench
, clang, then Joe, clang. Clang, clang, clang went the BFWs against the
shitter's release valve.
"Goddamnit, let go!"
Clang.
Buckley hit the valve stem one last time and then ka-thunk went the valve head
as it was blown across the room into the far bulkhead from the pressurized
sewer bladder. Joe and
Jimmy dropped their makeshift hammers and looked for a spot with higher
ground. Jimmy made it to the top of some tool shelving on the aft wall of the
shithole, but the high-pressure flow coming out of the sewage release valve
had him cut off from anything other than standing on the deck.
The SIF fields around the bladder squeezed it inward and forced it empty,
throwing a fire-hydrant force flow of human waste across the room. The
pressure of the flow ricocheted across the room and quickly washed Buckley off
his feet, covering him from head to toe with shit. The pressure burst the
nasty brown liquid into his nostrils, ears, eyes, and mouth, choking him.
Joe Buckley swam through the lake of shit as it filled the room with the mixed
methane smells of decomposing waste from thirty thousand human beings and he
began to lose the fight against the high pressure current and the horrendous
stench.
Now, Mija!
Joe thought. He took one last nauseating breath of the methane-filled air and
fought harder to keep his head up.
The structural technician AIC triggered the software per Buckley's orders and
a string of valves were released in order to allow the flow of the DEG liquid
metal coolant to flow through the damaged heat-
pipe conduit. The extreme pressures in the flow loop didn't take long to
overcome the weakened metal in the pipe. Mija released the structural
integrity field around the pipe at that location and the eight-
hundred-degree-Celsius liquid sodium-potassium alloy flowed out of the pipe in
a high-velocity jet with nearly explosive force. A small rupture in the pipe
vented the liquid metal like a rocket nozzle that passed through both of
Buckley's legs, cutting them off instantly and cauterizing them almost as
quickly.
The heat pipe forced more and more of the liquid metals into the raw sewage
that at the same time was converted quickly to steam. The heavy-liquid metals
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began to settle into the bottom of the pool of sewage and were forming dense
methane gas clouds just above the surface of the brown sludge. Buckley had had
a good idea from a mechanical and industrial flow point of view what would
happen, but his lack of chemistry knowledge was going to be his undoing.
The chemical reaction of sodium and potassium metal and water created sodium
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